


How bad he be? Lets see

by Afeveryoucantwriteout



Category: The Lorax (2012), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Betrayal, Can you tell I've just completely stopped caring, Coffee Shops, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Heartbreak, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Relationship, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afeveryoucantwriteout/pseuds/Afeveryoucantwriteout
Summary: My dudes...my guys.... fuccin... guys im so sorry you readin this.Coffee shop AU where DIO gains the Onceler's  trust and turns him into a [Robbie Rotten Voice] REAL VILLAIN. Will Love Blind the Once-ler from DIO's True Intentions





	

**Author's Note:**

> Im really sorry like you don't understand it was supposed to be rly short and a complete joke but my ass got invested
> 
> Also im sorry I wrote this by hand and now have to type each chapter up by hand so there's that. I got 2 more to transcribe then I have to like...think again..

It was six o’clock on an Autumn evening, which meant it was time for Once-ler to close up his shop. Business was slow, even for a Sunday but he didn’t care much. There was always the business sweep tomorrow morning. When he moved out to the big city he set forth to open a business and he did it. A lovely studio apartment, a precious pup for company, and nothing -- and no one -- to distract him from his work. . He was a young business owner and was slowly getting to the top. That’s all that mattered to him. That’s all that really mattered anyway. Right?

With a yawn, the Onceler went right to work cleaning the three used mugs and putting away all the uneaten croissants of the day. He and his schnauzer, ‘Lorax’, would probably enjoy those for a late dinner when he got home. He didn’t bother locking the door yet, no one was coming in anyway, and the closed sign was usually enough to stop people from entering the shop. He turned his back from the counter to take a quick inventory of the shop before calling it a night.

The Once-ler felt a weird air on his back when he turned away. Something had happened. Slowly, he turned around to see a large gentleman stand before him, the man's massive arms at his hips. 

His eyes went in every direction as he looked over him. There was just so much going on with this guy. The Bizarre scar on his neck, his pants that just let it all hang out, the fact he was shirtless in a place that clearly states a shirt is needed to be served-- he had no idea what the hell this man wanted but he was sure it was not coffee. 

His eyes continued to scan the man, until he took a clawed finger and raised the Once-ler's chin so their eyes met.  
"You appear startled, is there something the matter?" The man asked, his voice deep and soothing. 

"Get in me-EEEH W-welcome to Thnead for Coffee!" The Once-ler responded anxiously, trying to break the intense eye contact. He backed away, knocking over a few boxes behind him. "Damn it," he spat and grabbed his face, flustered. 

The man tsked at him, shaking his head. The Once-ler stared at him, more with confusion than awe. Who the fuck just… does that?

“Why don’t you take a seat, I’ll make both of us a cup of coffee, your treat.” He smirked, offering the Once-ler his hand. Cautiously, he took it, and was guided to a table with one of the cushioned chairs. The Once-ler took his seat and sighed. Despite this large man practically breaking into his closed store half naked and stealing coffee, he felt at ease. For one moment of his busy life, he could just relaxed and be served for a change. Slowly, he sank deeper into his seat and closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet.

Upon opening his eyes again, the man with the glorious body and fucked up mullet sat before him, pouring them both a cup.  
“So tell me,” he started as he began stirring sugar into his mug. “What is your name? I’m having a hard time making out what it says on your nametag.”

The Once-ler sat up in his seat and adjusted the little metal tab on his polo shirt. “The Once-ler!” he responded.  
The other man snorted, dropping his spoon. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

“My name is the Once-ler…” he said, more sternly. 

The man had to look away for a moment, hiding his face so not to let The Onceler see him silently laughing. He thought Speedwagon was the wildest name he heard in his life, but what the HELL was a Onceler? He looked up finally to see the man’s eyes were cast down at the table. He knew that it was a stupid name. 

The other man cleared his throat and regained composure. “I-It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Once-ler. That’s a rather unique name. I am known as DIO.”

The Once-ler perked up. “That’s..kinda cool. Were you named after the band or something’?” 

DIO had no idea why everyone asked him that, nor what the hell a band was. He assumed it was something good so he nodded. “Sure.” He crossed his legs and took a sip of the coffee. “May I ask you another question...Once-ler,” he forced himself to say the other man’s name with a solemn expression.

“Shoot.”

“While I have passed this shop many a time,this is my first time walking in. I must say it’s quite the lovely place. How long have you had it? A year or so?”

“Edging onto my sixth year in business,” the Once-ler smiled weakly. DIO raised an eyebrow.

“Sixth year? My that’s fantastic. You’re awfully young to have a business for so long. I’m sure your friends and family are just utterly amazed by your success. Are you happy?”

The Once-ler sat a moment, the first thought was of course! He was much more successful than he anticipated ,especially for someone with so little to work with. But… his business and his dog is all he had. He cut ties with his family, he had no friends to speak of nor did he ever do anything to make them. He was… he was…

“People often get lost in my eyes, but never have I seen someone start tearing up,” DIO jested, snapping his fingers at the other man. The Once-ler shook his head and wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

“I asked if you were happy,” DIO repeated. “But I think I have my answer to my question.”

The Once-ler’s face turned red as tears streamed down his face. “W-why do you ask?”

DIO stood up from the table and grabbed the Once-ler by the hand. He lifted the other man onto his feet and pulled him in closer, pressing their chests together. The Once-ler looked up at DIO, feeling almost entranced. 

“I can give you happiness, if you do me a favor,” he said. “Do you want happiness, Once-ler?” The Once-ler was choked up.  
“Y...y..yes.”


End file.
